Matters of the Heart
by Laurus Nobilis
Summary: The Doctor takes Rose on a vacation to the Caribbean, but they don't get to relax. Crossover between Doctor Who, Pirates of the Caribbean and xxxHOLiC.
1. Chapter 1

**Matters of the Heart**

The TARDIS had a smooth landing, for a change. Rose decided to take that as a good sign. She didn't say it aloud, though; it was the kind of comment that the Doctor could turn, with no effort at all, into a neverending speech about humans and superstition and how she shouldn't call it a nice day until she opened the door and made sure there wasn't a giant lizard with lasers in its eyes waiting to eat her or something. If she then told him that she wasn't really taking it seriously, there'd be another speech coming. So it wouldn't hurt to wait before she cheered.

His expression, though, made it look like it was going to be a very nice day indeed.

"Where are we?" she asked him, curious. The Doctor just grinned at her.

"Well, go and find out."

As she opened the door, a warm, salty breeze greeted her. She stepped out of the TARDIS and looked around in awe. They were on a gorgeous beach. The sand was almost white, and the sea was a clear, bright blue. There were a few palm trees near them, but no signs of people at all. She turned around to face the Doctor, laughing.

"Can't believe it... You brought me to the _Caribbean_?" she exclaimed. "Oh, Mum's gonna die of jealousy when she finds out. She's always wanted to come on vacation here –"

"Well, then, she can't complain," he interrupted. "We're not here on vacation. We're here to save the world."

"... what?"

"There's something we've got to do here, of course."

"And when did you find out about that?"

"Right now," he replied, and pointed at the sea.

Rose looked in that direction. There was a ship there, a huge, wooden ship that told her they'd arrived at some point of the Age of Sail. But it wouldn't be there for long. The giant tentacle that was wrapped around it cracked it in half and sunk with its remains.

She flinched at the sight, and tried not to think of all the people in there. It didn't work.

"Nasty," she muttered. "So, d'you think that's an alien?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "But I know someone who _might_ know."

o O o

Even if Rose would have liked to walk a bit and watch the gorgeous landscapes, the Doctor insisted on using the TARDIS to go and see that person he had mentioned.

"It's on a different island, then?"

"Yes. But that's not the only problem," he said. "We better get right outside her house. I wouldn't want to walk around on _that_ island, either."

"Why not?"

"Cannibals," he said cheerfully. "Lots of them, actually."

"... oh. Right. The TARDIS it is."

During the few moments that it took them to travel there, Rose managed to ask him if he had any idea of what was going on, or if he thought it could be yet another alien invasion. She really hoped it _wasn't_ one, but as she had soon learned, one could never discard the possibility.

"Oh, I know there _are_ aliens around here," the Doctor told her, "but the ones I know have been here for ages. They definitely don't count as an invasion."

"But they would notice it if there was one, right?"

"Right. That's why we're going to ask."

Moments after he said that, the TARDIS landed. They arrived in the middle of a jungle so thick that they could barely open the TARDIS's door. There was also plenty of fog around them. Where they in some kind of swamp? Rose didn't have much time to look around. A small cabin caught her attention, almost hidden among the branches; but there was light inside, and she could hear several voices. The Doctor frowned.

"She's got visitors?" he muttered. "That's unusual."

"Unusual as in fun, or unusual as in trouble?"

He didn't answer immediately, paying attention to the sounds. Then he grinned.

"If I know those voices well enough," he said, "_both_."

He made his way towards the cabin, Rose closely behind him. As he opened the door, three faces turned to look at them; none particularly surprised, she noticed. A woman stood up to greet them, smiling widely. Rose thought that she would have looked beautiful, if only she'd taken a bath in the last few years.

"Tia Dalma!" the Doctor exclaimed, cheerful. "Still in this planet, then?"

"Doctor," she said, as if she was tasting the word, and approaching him in a way that Rose didn't like at all. "Wouldn't leave without saying good-bye to you, would I?"

"Somehow I don't think I'm the only reason you're here."

"And how about _us_?" asked another woman, sitting a little apart from them next to a tall, bespectacled man. "Aren't you going to say hello?"

"Of course, Yuuko dear, I'd never risk being impolite to you of all people," he said, grinning. "And Clow! _Interesting_ how you're always around when there's trouble."

"I could say the same about you," he replied, but he didn't seem upset at all.

"You know each other?" asked Rose.

"Of course. We've been friends for ages," said the Doctor. "But I haven't introduced you yet! Everyone, this is Rose Tyler. Say hello. And do stop staring at her in that fortune teller way of yours, all right? It's really obvious."

Clow gave a little cough as he turned his eyes away, and Yuuko shook her head with a smile. Tia Dalma, however, kept staring at her with the same wide grin. Rose couldn't help feeling entranced by her.

"Fortune tellers?" she asked.

"You don't want to know," the Doctor interrupted, suddenly very stern. "And they won't tell you anyway."

"No," Clow agreed softly, "we won't."

"Is there something wrong?" she asked, nervous. "Because if there _is_ something wrong, then this is even scarier than knowing."

But the wizard smiled reassuringly at her.

"It's not that," he said. "It's just that life is a lot more fun when you don't know what will happen next."

Rose wasn't quite sure that she believed him – even if he was telling the truth, she had the feeling that it wasn't the _only_ reason why they wouldn't tell her anything – but she knew the Doctor well enough to tell that he wouldn't let them say anything even if she insisted. She gave up for the moment, making a mental note to try to speak to one of them while the Doctor wasn't around instead.

"Now, the rest of the introductions!" he went on, as if nothing had happened. "This is Tia Dalma, as I said – she's the friend I was telling you about, Rose. Yuuko and Clow are old friends of mine too, we've saved the world a couple of times."

"More than a couple," Yuuko interrupted him. "And we also happen to be a witch and a wizard, but he will never say those words if he can help it. So someone else has to say them for him, clearly."

"You two can call yourselves whatever you want, but don't expect me to talk about _magic_. I've seen enough of what you do to know that all of it has perfectly good explanations."

Rose vaguely wondered if those "perfectly good explanations" were of his usual kind, in which case he might as well say "it's magic!" and get it over with. But she didn't have time to ask it; Tia Dalma spoke first.

"Always so stubborn, Doctor," she said, "seen so much, and still don't believe there can be your science, and there can be our magic too."

"I keep trying to tell him he should see both worlds can coexist," Clow agreed with her, nodding slightly. "And then he says I'm _projecting my own issues_, can you believe that?"

"Can we please stop talking about me as if I wasn't here?" the Doctor intervened.

He'd already made himself comfortable, and gestured for Rose to sit down, too. It didn't seem anyone else would invite her to do so, so she sat next to him and said nothing. The conversation was amusing enough as it was. The Doctor continued arguing with Clow and Tia Dalma, while Yuuko turned to look at her with a knowing look.

"They'll keep it up for some time," she said, offering Rose a drink in a glass that, like everything else in the house, didn't look very hygienic. The girl accepted it, but placed it on the table and hoped it wouldn't be too noticeable if she didn't take a single sip.

"Do you think so?"

"I _know_ so," Yuuko replied. "Clow loves to ramble, the Doctor might be the only person in the universe who can talk as fast as him, and if there's something that Tia Dalma loves it's stirring arguments. So why don't you and I talk about something more interesting in the meantime, hmm?"

Rose couldn't help but remember the Doctor's words about "fortune teller looks", but the witch didn't have that attitude now. On the contrary, she seemed very friendly and trustworthy.

"Sure," she replied with a grin. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well, I haven't seen the Doctor in a very long time. What has he been up to? Saving the universe, as usual?"

"Yeah, you could say that," Rose chuckled. "That and getting into more trouble than we can solve."

"Ah, but no one can fix _everything_. Not even those two," Yuuko said, oddly serious for an instant, and then she smiled again. "But as long as you can get out of that trouble, you should consider yourself lucky."

"Oh, I do," she admitted. It was strange; she didn't know why she was talking so openly to a woman she had just met, but she couldn't help it. She had the feeling that this was someone who understood everyone, someone who could always listen without judging…

"So!" the Doctor said, all of a sudden, and wearing that grin that never meant any good. "We really shouldn't intrude on Tia Dalma anymore. Why don't you come and stay in the TARDIS for the night? There's plenty of room."

Clow and Yuuko didn't seem to find his attitude as weird as Rose did; or, if they did, they hid it well enough. They sounded perfectly normal when they agreed and stood up to leave. Tia Dalma gave them a strange sort of look, but smiled at them and let them do as they pleased.

"You didn't ask her," Rose whispered to the Doctor, as they walked the short distance that separated them from the TARDIS.

"No need," he replied. "I've got even more reliable sources now."

o O o

Yuuko and Clow made themselves comfortable in the TARDIS, with the ease of people who have been visiting a friend's house regularly throughout the years. Rose wondered how had they met and if they'd ever traveled with him, but they started speaking to each other before she could ask. It wasn't exactly that they were ignoring her, but she still felt somewhat left out; they acted like an old team of sorts, and talked about things and people she didn't know.

"What happened this time?" Yuuko asked. "And if you don't want Tia Dalma to hear it, why did you go to see her?"

"Because I didn't know you two were around and she was my best guess," the Doctor admitted. "I have no idea what's going on, that's just it. There's a Kraken wrecking ships out there, did you know that? If it's alien, Tia Dalma should know, but that doesn't mean she'd want to help."

"Mmm, yes, she can be too partial sometimes," said Clow. "But the Kraken isn't alien."

"It's still out of place, though," Rose intervened. She felt a bit self-conscious when everyone turned to look at her, but then she noticed they weren't looking _down_ at her; they were truly interested. "I mean, I thought it was from Norse myths. What's it doing in the Caribbean?"

"Excellent question! Anyone care to enlighten us?"

"Davy Jones," Yuuko said simply, as if that answered every question. Rose frowned.

"Davy Jones as in Davy Jones' Locker?" she asked.

"The very same. He rules over the sea, and he isn't doing a very good job of it lately."

"So that's why you two were here?" the Doctor intervened.

"Not at all," said Clow. "We were just having a nice, quiet vacation –"

"'Course you weren't," said the Doctor. "You were keeping an eye on Sao Feng. The ship that the Kraken got today? It was definitely from Singapore. And I bet there are more of them around."

_Who's Sao Feng?_ Rose mouthed in Yuuko's general direction. She knew trying to interrupt was pointless, but she could still get an answer. _Pirate captain_, the witched mouthed back.

"The question is," the Doctor went on, "what did you _do_ that made you feel responsible enough to follow him around? Hmm?"

"Wait a moment, now" Clow sighed. "Are _you_ going to tell me to stay out of other people's business? Right when you're trying to meddle in them yourself?"

The Doctor just grinned at him.

"Too many cooks..."

"There's something you have to understand, though. I _didn't_ do anything. Or say anything."

"Really."

"Really. The only reason why I'm here is that I just happen to know he got his hands on a map to the Fountain of Youth. And you'll have to agree that Sao Feng and eternal youth are a very bad combination."

"Oh, not again!" the Doctor exclaimed. "You humans are far too obsessed with eternal life."

"Easy to say for a nine hundred year old," Rose muttered. Clow smiled at her.

"Thank you."

The Doctor looked offended.

"Hey! Do you know how old _he_ is?"

"Still younger than you, I'm afraid," Clow said mildly.

"Now, there's something here you're not telling me yet," the Doctor said, changing the subject. "How exactly did Sao Feng get that map? And why do you two _just happen_ to know about it?"

Yuuko gave him a long, bored look. He shook his head.

"You've _got_ to learn to say no, Yuuko."

"Wait... what's going on here?" Rose asked. "Is there something I'm missing?"

"Sao Feng wished for eternal youth. I had the map," Yuuko said simply, and then she turned to the Doctor. "You know the rules. I can't refuse anyone's wishes."

"And whatever they do after that is not your responsibility either," the Doctor finished for her, "so if that was it you shouldn't be here anyway."

"Oh, but _I_ can still play around," Clow intervened. "She heard I was coming and joined me so she could visit Tia Dalma. I did tell you we were on vacation."

"Spying on an insane pirate who wants eternal life is vacation," Rose chimed in, grinning to herself, as her eyes wandered from Clow to the Doctor and back. "Have you guys been friends for long?"

"Far too long," Yuuko sighed, but she was grinning too as she turned to the Doctor. "And now you should tell us why _you_ are here. I'd say you just wanted to bring a pretty girl to theCaribbean, but you never relax, do you?"

The Doctor glared at her for a second, but he seemed to forget about her teasing as soon as he replied.

"I was _trying_ to relax, but it's clearly not happening," he muttered. "So. Where do I find good old Davy? I haven't seen him in ages and we need to have a talk."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"You do realize," Clow said, as they walked across the beach, "that they're not going to forgive us for leaving them behind, right?"

"As a matter of fact, _you_ weren't supposed to be here, either."

"But I couldn't let you risk yourself like this, all on your own. Besides, you can't reach the Flying Dutchman without magic, unless you want to get the TARDIS on the ship."

"See, there's a reason why I never invited you to travel…"

"Because you didn't want to be outshone?" the wizard asked cheerfully.

"As if," the Doctor snorted. "No, it's because you're a know-it-all. And if _I_ think so, then it's really bad. Now do something useful and get us on that ship so we can get caught."

"We shouldn't be exactly _on_ the ship," Clow pointed out. "Just close enough. If we can make it look like our own ship sank, they'll pick us up before Jones has the chance to recognize us."

The Doctor nodded, thoughtful.

"How do you plan to do that? _Illusion_?"

"Indeed. But first, _Fly_."

"Oh, no, you won't-"

"It's not a long way," Clow insisted, as the staff took its new winged form, "and it's the fastest way. Come on, it won't be that bad."

"Fine," the Doctor muttered. "But just this once, and you don't get to tell anyone."

"We have a deal," the wizard replied, and then they took off.

Balancing two grown men on that staff was no small feat, but they somehow managed to do it, and soon enough they saw Jones's ghost ship in the distance. They approached it covered by _Illusion_'s magic. For a moment they lingered over the water nearby, preparing themselves for the next step in their plan.

"All right, I'm going in," the Doctor said, more to himself than to his friend, and jump into the cold sea. Clow followed an instant later; he had to cast the spell around them before he could put away his Key.

Soon enough, the Dutchman's crew seemed to notice the fake shipwreck near them. They sent a small boat to check for survivors and take them aboard. The Doctor and Clow didn't resist; they _pretended_ to do so, or else the sailors would be too suspicious, but they didn't put up much of a fight. Luckily, the pirates that Jones had sent out to take them weren't too bright. It wouldn't be so easy to fool the captain himself.

When the prisoners were finally on board, the pirates forced them to kneel, waiting for orders before they did anything else. It didn't take long until they heard the unmistakable sound of Jones's steps approaching them. But they stopped a few feet away, as if he was surprised.

"Reed!" he exclaimed. "_Again_? Of all the scoundrels in the sea-"

"Good night to you too, Davy," Clow said mildly. "I'm not exactly happy to see you either."

"And what about me? You don't recognize an old friend anymore? I'm going to get jealous."

That seemed to spark the captain's curiosity. He took the few steps that still separated him from the two men, and then his eyes filled with realization.

"We meet again, Doctor," he said, leaning in to give a closer look at his prisoner's face. "But this time, _I_ have the upper hand."

"Good. I like a challenge. More fun this way," the Doctor said. "You all can even start betting on how long it'll take me to get out of this. I say ten minutes, what do you think?"

"_I think_," Jones replied, and one of his eyes was visibly twitching, "that you are in no position to make jokes. Not when you have a cutlass to your neck. Tell me, Doctor, do you fear death?"

"Nah," he said, even managing to shrug a little in spite of the pirate that was holding his arms behind his back. "Died eight times already. It's pretty much routine by now."

"And how about your friend, then? He doesn't have those powers of yours. Will you let my lads here slice his throat open?"

"I'm really sorry to disappoint," Clow intervened, as he carefully took the blade with two of his fingers and moved it away just a little, "but I'm planning to stick around for a couple more centuries, in fact."

Jones didn't seem at all upset by his reaction. On the contrary, he looked quite proud of himself, and quickly turned to face the wizard instead.

"Ah! That's just the kind of thing I like to hear! We are going to make a deal, you and I-"

"Oh, but there's no need for that at all," Clow said cheerfully. "I'd much rather do it in my own style. I'm afraid your way of doing things is just too much work for a scholar..."

Jones's eye twitched again. He looked as if he was about to say something, but the Doctor interrupted him.

"Speaking of your way of doing things," he said. "You didn't look like _that_ last time we met, Davy boy."

"Neither did you."

"Fair enough," said the Doctor. "But you didn't exactly get better looking, did you?"

"Now, honestly," Clow said, his smile faltering for the first time, "I don't think that's the best topic of conversation..."

"Let him finish!" Jones snapped. "I want to hear what he has to say. I don't care how many times I have to kill him afterwards."

"Yes, you do, Jones. You don't want to kill the one who can help you. Wouldn't you like to look at least remotely human again? Get rid of this illness?"

"_Illness_!" he barked. "Illness, you say! This is a curse!"

"Trust me," Clow agreed, giving the Doctor a meaningful look. "I know a curse when I see one."

"And _I_ know alien bacteria when I see them. They're pretty hard to miss," the Doctor went on. "Do you know how many species can keep a functional body while their heart is somewhere else? They're not very many. And none of them are from this planet, mind you. What exactly did you do to yourself? Got some alien DNA from your girlfriend?"

Jones's pipe snapped in half. Clow let out a sigh of resignation.

"Of course. You just _had_ to mention the girlfriend."

"How _dare_ you," Jones growled. "How dare you speak of that – that _woman_–"

"I dare speak of her because she has everything to do with this," the Doctor went on. "She's not exactly from around here, did she tell you that? And it looks like she brought a lot of microscopic friends with her. They don't really affect her own body, she looks as pretty as ever, but put them in contact with a human and in no time he's got a tentacly face and his heart's inside of a wooden chest somewhere. And then it gets better! Because the guy takes all these little bacteria with him to his ship, and they thrive on its crew, and any poor fool that sticks around for long enough gets seashells and starfish on their skin."

For a moment, Jones simply stared at him, with so much fury that he looked about to explode.

"There is no punishment enough for you," he said, and then he looked up at his sailors. "Just kill them."

Then everything happened very fast. The man that was holding the Doctor suddenly discovered that his cutlass's blade had fallen from its hilt at some point during the conversation. Clow got himself free and stood up in a swift move, leaving a very confused pirate behind. It was only a moment until they had most of the crew upon them, captain included.

"It's been a while since we had this much fun, don't you think?" the Doctor laughed, stepping out of the way of a seashell-faced attacker who bumped into someone from his own side.

"We really should do this more often," said Clow, and then "Watch out–"

He reached out to get the Doctor out of the way, and then Jones's lobster-like claw hit him on the back of the head, and the last thing he saw was a mess of feet on wet wood.

o O o

"It was a bad idea," Tia Dalma muttered, almost to herself, as she brought a tray with several drinks towards the table. "A very, very bad idea. But he never listens, never. And your Clow, too… Should have more sense in him, that man."

"Oh, he should," Yuuko agreed, emptying her glass in a single gulp. "But he never learns."

Rose paced around the cluttered room, frustrated. How could they be so calm? They were upset, yes, but they weren't _doing_ anything. They were just sitting there while the Doctor and Clow had gone to face Davy Jones himself…

"I can't believe it!" she snapped at last. "Why did they just leave without us like that? Is it a macho thing or something?"

"Never," said Tia Dalma, and her smile looked dangerous for a moment. "They know, those two, the power of a woman."

Yuuko nodded and took the glass that was meant for Rose. The girl didn't mind; she wasn't touching that, anyway.

"It's not a macho thing," the witch assured her. "The Doctor left on his own because he thinks he's the best thing that ever happened to the universe and that he can face anyone all alone. And Clow sneaked up behind him because he thinks that _he_ is the best thing that ever happened to the universe and that nothing can go right if he's not involved."

"Great, so it's an ego thing. That's not much better," Rose muttered. "So what are we going to do? Are we too late to catch up with them?"

"Catching up will do no good," Tia Dalma replied, shaking her head. Rose stopped pacing just so she could glare at her properly.

"But we can't just stay here waiting!"

"Of course not. We'll find out what they're up to," Yuuko told her.

It was then when Rose noticed that she hadn't drunk the second glass. It seemed somehow different now; clearer, even though it was still dirty. The liquid's surface was whirling quietly under the witch's eyes. It looked as if she was scrying, as hard to believe as that might be. All of a sudden, she pressed her palms on the table and stood up.

"That _idiot_," she huffed. "I leave him alone for _five minutes_–"

"What happened?" Rose asked.

"The Doctor couldn't keep his big mouth shut, of course. And Clow either forgot that he has a Shield card, or he thought he could just play pirates without it. Arrogant fool…"

"… what?"

"I'll tell you the details on the way. Come on."

"You leave?" asked Tia Dalma, frowning slightly.

"We're going to the beach."

Rose thought it was wiser to wait until Yuuko calmed down a bit to voice her concerns, so for a few minutes she simply followed her in silence. They walked through the jungle for a while (she was very grateful for her jeans; the witch was raising her kimono up to her knees) and then she finally got the courage to ask her.

"Tia Dalma looked worried when you said we'd leave. Did she think it could be dangerous?"

"Oh, yes. But not for _us_. She knows that her boyfriend is going to be in big trouble if I find him."

"… her boyfriend?"

"Davy Jones."

"All right," said Rose, "you've _really_ lost me now."

So Yuuko explained everything. She talked both about Jones's story, and about what she had just seen through her scrying. Rose felt that she was entirely justified in calling them names, and would have gladly joined in if the witch had given her time.

"Stupid wizard," she muttered. "So much for being the most powerful idiot in the world. _I_ am the one who always ends up rescuing him."

"You do this often, then?" Rose chimed in, now struggling to follow her step. Yuuko was fast when she was angry. "'Cause I might ask for a few tips…"

"I'd say 'stay away from idiots' but it's obviously too late for that."

"Well, he's not _always_ an idiot," she said, feeling as if she should defend the Doctor's honour for some reason. The witch turned around for a second and gave her a very telling look. She just had to grin. "All right, he's an idiot really often. Still, not always. And it's usually to help people..."

"Or to get a closer look at something shiny," said Yuuko. "These two are _much_ too similar."

"So he does that too, then," Rose sighed. "He _did_ give me that impression in Tia Dalma's house. He kept staring at everything."

"Oh, Clow never visits her without bartering something. But I can't blame him for that, in all honesty," she admitted. "All her articles are wonderful rarities. It's not easy to find the kind of things she offers."

"I suppose not," the girl mumbled, not quite convinced. Tia Dalma's things were certainly _weird_, but she wasn't sure they qualified as "wonderful rarities". Perhaps wizards and witches had a different perspective on that stuff. "So… what are we going to do when we find them?"

"We make sure they didn't get killed, and then we _kill them_."

"Sounds good to me."

o O o

When Clow woke up, everything was blurry around him. He thought his glasses might have slid down his nose… no, he realized, they'd slid _up_ his nose. He was hanging upside down.

"Doctor?" he asked, still a little dazed. Someone moved behind him – really, _really_ close behind him.

"Ah, you're awake," the Doctor said. "Good. I was starting to worry. What's the use of foresight if you can't duck from a blow to the head?"

He was about to tell him that he hadn't ducked to keep a certain someone out of trouble, but the words died in his throat. Talking had fully awoken him, and now he was aware of his surroundings at last. He wasn't just hanging upside down. He was hanging upside down _and_ chained back to back to the Doctor _and_ locked in the Flying Dutchman's brig.

"I was trying to tell you," said Clow, sounding much too calm all things considered, "that they wouldn't like to hear about alien bacteria turning people into sea animals. And _especially_ not about Calypso."

"But she _is_ an alien," the Doctor pointed out.

"I know she is. But did you really need to _say_ it?"

"All right, I might've said a bit too much. In front of the wrong people."

"You told Davy Jones that he looks like that because his girlfriend from another planet is contagious," the wizard said. "It's no wonder he wanted us dead. Why _didn't_ they kill us, anyway?"

"He changed his mind. I think he wants me to try to cure him, no matter what he said up there. That or he wants to torture me until he's bored. He definitely wants to torture _you_, and he said he didn't start right then and there because he wanted you conscious. Apparently he's still bitter because of something you did to him a few decades ago."

"Ah. _That_," Clow sighed. "I was reading fortunes in Tortuga, and he came to ask me about this woman he'd just met. I told him it wasn't such a good idea. So he asked for details, and I gave them. He wasn't happy."

The Doctor twisted his neck so he could look at him sideways.

"You were reading fortunes in Tortuga?"

"It's a long story," he said. "Also, just so you know, I have no intention to catch any alien disease. So I suggest you hurry up with that thing."

"If you call my screwdriver 'that thing' again I'll have to give you another speech about those cards of yours," the Doctor warned him, but he did return to his work. "Why aren't you using them, anyway? Aren't you supposed to be the most powerful so-called wizard in the world?"

"So powerful, in fact, that if I use magic with my head in this state I might blow up the whole ship," said Clow, not in the least upset. "And I'd like to remind you that we wouldn't even be here if you were able to simply take a hint and stop talking. So–"

"Hurry up, I know!" the Doctor grumbled. "It's kind of hard to work when you're hanging upside down and chained to someone with a cloak that gets all over the place. Not exactly working clothes, those."

"Ah, of course. Because you have _never_ taken to wear a scarf twice your size that got in the way of absolutely everything."

"You _made_ that scarf, Reed."

"Only because I saw you were going to use it."

The Doctor muttered something unintelligible about fortune tellers and their nonsense. Clow elbowed him the ribs.

"Oh, fine. I'm working on it," he said. "Almost there – you'll want to prepare yourself–"

There was a faint _click_, followed by the noise of pieces of rusty metal sliding against each other. In a matter of seconds, they had enough space to move – and to fall. Clow turned around in mid air and landed gracefully on his feet. The Doctor didn't have that much luck.

"Oy!" he snapped, rubbing his head. "Next time you want to show off your fancy martial arts moves, you might consider giving a little _help_."

"Someone had to catch the chain before it hit the floor," Clow replied simply, placing it on the wooden floor, "unless we wanted to alert the whole crew. Besides, you deserved it."

"All right, all right, you don't have to explain how all of this is my fault _again_. Now move aside so I can open that door."

In a matter of seconds, the Doctor had unlocked the door with his screwdriver and they were on their way, trying to go unnoticed as they looked for a way out. Clow still felt a little too light-headed to use his magic, but they had no need of it; the simple method of sneaking up and knocking guards from behind worked wonders. When it was time to get back on the deck, however, he didn't have much choice.

"Are you _sure_ you can do this?" the Doctor asked. He nodded, taking the cards from one of his pockets.

"I'm feeling better now. Besides, it's not a big spell this time," he assured him, as he cast _Illusion_ around them one more time.

It gave them the chance to cross the deck unnoticed, and jump into the water before anyone could see them. With one last effort, Clow called _Earthy_ so they would have a place to stand. The Dutchman continued on its way, in perfect calm; if all went well, it would take a while until they noticed the prisoners were missing. They'd be far away, and hopefully on land, by that point.

"Well," the Doctor said, "now what?"

"We go to the beach and meet Yuuko and Rose right before they have time to go looking for us."

"... is _that_ your plan? All of it?"

"No, those are the facts," said Clow. "I'm still working on how to get there."

"So much for foresight," the Doctor muttered. Clow grimaced.

"Never said it was a treat."

"Oh, come on, we don't have time to sulk! If you aren't going to say anything useful then kindly shut up and let me think, all right?"

Clow rolled his eyes at him, but bit back his scathing reply. It would be silly to start arguing _again_, he had a point about that. He tried to focus on coming up with a plan. They weren't too far from the shore, and he knew he could sustain his spells without trouble now. Perhaps...

"I know you won't want to fly," he said, "so I suppose we could just walk."

He called Earthy again, this time creating a narrow path of solid rock between their tiny island and the mainland. The Doctor raised his eyebrows, impressed.

"Nice. Clean and simple," he told him. "A bit easy to see, though. What if they come back?"

"Oh, that's all right. _Illusion_ will keep us hidden," Clow said, calling the card to protect them.

"Show off," the Doctor muttered, then took the lead so it wouldn't seem as if the wizard was doing all the work.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It didn't take them more than a quarter of an hour to reach the shore. The path sank back into the ocean as soon they stepped off, leaving no trace at all; it was as if it had never existed. There were still no signs of Yuuko and Rose, but Clow was certain that they'd appear at the edge of the jungle any minute now. He used the few moments that remained to quickly dry his own clothes and the Doctor's, with _Windy_'s help. And then, just as it had happened in his vision -

"YOU."

"Ah, yes, Yuuko dearest –"

"_You_. Will _never_. Do anything this stupid again. _Understood_?" she told him, shaking her index finger at him as if he was nothing but a child. "Next time you get a hero complex at least make sure you know what you're doing. We had to cross all that stupid jungle to see if you two idiots were all right."

"We did quite well on our own, actually," the Doctor said. His smile disappeared from his face as soon as he caught Rose's glare.

"Honestly, talking back to Davy Jones like that wasn't one of your smartest moves," she muttered.

"Hey! I've talked back to scarier people than Davy Jones!"

"It was still stupid," Rose insisted. Clow nodded.

"Very."

"You," Yuuko told him, "are still just as stupid as him. Just so you know."

"I doubt you'd ever let me forget," he sighed. "Anyway, everything turned out all right, so…"

"Did it, really?" the witched interrupted. "Did you two find out anything of what you wanted to know?"

Clow opened his mouth to reply, then closed it again. The Doctor frowned.

"Well, we didn't really get the chance to figure out what's up with the Kraken…" he began. Rose glared at him.

"Did you figure out _anything at all_?"

"… that Davy Jones doesn't like it when people talk about his girlfriend?"

At that point, Yuuko let out a long sigh and crossed her arms, with an annoyed expression on her face.

"You two _do_ realize what you're saying, don't you? You see what this whole thing is about?" she asked. Clow and the Doctor looked at each other, then at her.

"A crisis situation involving aliens that might endanger the whole world."

"A potential magical disaster that needs to be solved as soon as possible."

"_A_ _lovers' quarrel_," she corrected them, giving them a very telling look. "In other words, _their own business_."

"She does have a point," Rose intervened. Although enjoying the show was just as fun as getting involved in the argument, she supposed that someone had to support Yuuko's side. Especially because she was right.

The Doctor sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Yuuko. Listen," he started. "This little lovers' quarrel of yours? It's far more than just that. This is going to be _epic_."

"I know. But it's still their own problem to solve," she replied. She was more serious than Rose had ever seen her so far. "You two love to meddle in everyone else's business-"

"And it _helps_," the Doctor interrupted her. She ignored his comment.

"-but there are some things where even people like us shouldn't take part. Can't you tell how many powers are at play here? Do you really think it's a good idea to add even more?"

"Wait a moment," Rose said. "I though... you've just said we couldn't get involved because it was a lovers' quarrel. And now it's because there are too many powers? Which one is it?"

She had almost expected the witch to get upset, but Yuuko just smiled at her. Apparently she didn't mind the question at all.

"It's the same thing," she replied. "Love is one of the strongest forces in the universe, after all. The love and hate of Calypso... it's unstoppable. It's already caused an avalanche of consequences, and whatever we do, even with the best of intentions, will only complicate things further."

"We can't just let him do what he wants with that creature, Yuuko," Clow pointed out.

"We have to. All we can do now is make things worse."

"I suppose you're right," he sighed, resigned. "Although it does seem quite pointless to be here, then."

"It's never pointless. I have plans for us, you know!"

"Fine," the Doctor said, although he obviously didn't think it was fine at all. "Fantastic. So, if we're not going to save the world this time, what do you suggest we actually _do_?"

Yuuko smiled cheerfully and clapped her hands.

"What we were going to do in the first place, of course! Going on holidays!"

Rose cheered. The Doctor stared at her.

"What?" she asked. "We _were_ going to have a rest in the first place. And since you had your little adventure without me, the least you can do to make up for it is let me have a proper vacation without anyone trying to kill us."

"But Jones isn't the only problem here. Sao Feng..." Clow began, frowning. Yuuko waved a hand at him dismissively.

"You can go back to stalking Sao Feng when our holiday is over," she told him. "He's not going to cause trouble for a while and you know that. So try acting like a normal person for a while and enjoy your vacation."

"Well," he said, "I suppose I can give it a try. For a while."

"_Good_. Doctor?"

He rolled his eyes, then sighed.

"Oh, all right, then. But let's go get the TARDIS first. We're going to a safer island."

Rose cheered again, and this time Yuuko joined her.

o O o

Yuuko let out a contented sigh, stretching her arms behind her head.

"Oh, this is just _wonderful_," she said. "Finally, a proper holiday! It was about time. Now, all I need is a tasty margarita..."

"They're on their way," the Doctor said, stepping out of the TARDIS with a tray and several drinks. Rose gave him a strange look as she took one of the glasses, and he frowned a little. "What? What is it?"

"We're on the beach," she replied. "On holidays. Why are you still wearing several layers of black?"

"What's wrong with that? I like my clothes," he defended himself. Rose was about to argue, but Yuuko shook her head to discourage her.

"Don't bother," she told her. "Changing clothes is a nearly once-in-a-lifetime event for this guy."

"Oh, very funny. How long have you been practicing that one?"

"And he has no sense of humour," she continued, ignoring him. "Which is just one more thing he has in common with Clow."

"I have a sense of humour!" Clow protested, looking up from his margarita. "_And_ I changed my clothes."

"Yes, but the fact that you need to point it out is very sad indeed. Besides, if you had insisted on wearing black robes _on the beach_ I would have been forced to take extreme measures," Yuuko said, shaking her index finger at him. "But you're learning. That's good."

The wizard rolled his eyes at her, but Rose noticed that he was smiling when he sipped his margarita. He truly was a lot like the Doctor, in many ways, and she wondered if Yuuko had often found herself dealing with both them. As nice as they could be, she didn't envy her in the least.

"You know what I haven't done in a while?" the Doctor said, out of the blue. "Fishing."

"Fishing?" Rose repeated, chuckling.

"What?"

"Nothing. You didn't strike me as the type, that's all."

"I used to go fishing, when I had the time," he told her. "I remembered because it's been a long time since I last spent more than five minutes sitting and doing nothing. Of course, I can't very well start fishing _here_. I might catch one of Davy's men and then Yuuko would accuse me of working."

"I certainly would," the witch agreed. "No working, Doctor, not even by accident. And you too, Reed. You'd better join the conversation. I can practically hear you think."

"You wound me, dearest. I was just thinking of how wonderful you look in that summer dress."

"And of a way to distract a certain captain from his matters here?"

"And that," Clow had to admit. Yuuko laughed at him and patted his hand.

"Oh, fine," she said. "We'll make some noise in the Pacific when we go home, if it makes you feel better. But now you're going to _relax_, no matter how much alcohol it takes."

"Sure, you say that because it's _my_ alcohol this time," the Doctor said good-naturedly.

"I didn't even know we had alcohol in the TARDIS," said Rose. "Why didn't you ever mention it?"

"Because we're always getting in trouble and we need to stay alert, that's why," he replied. "It's just for special occasions like this one."

"You know," she said, grinning at him, "I think you're just scared of what my mum would say."

"That counts as staying alert to get out of trouble, Rose."

"Speaking of staying out of trouble," Clow intervened, staring at the ocean. "We don't want anything to do with ships with black sails, do we?"

"That depends," said the Doctor. "How many fights did you pick when you were reading fortunes in Tortuga?"

o O o

It turned out that, although Clow hadn't angered anyone from the Black Pearl's crew, Yuuko declared that anywhere in the general vicinity of Captain Jack Sparrow was no fit place for holidays and that they'd get even _more_ work if they stayed. So they had to call the whole thing off after only a few hours at the beach. Both Clow and the Doctor found it so amusing that it was _her_ decision to do so, that they didn't seem to mind the loss of their holidays at all. Only Rose was a little disappointed, even though, to be honest, those few hours had been more than what she could usually expect. And they did have fun, after all.

"Well, it was nice while it lasted," she said, more to reassure herself than the Doctor. "We should do that again sometime."

"Oh, we will," he promised her. "Eventually. There has to be a place where we don't get in trouble, somewhere out there."

"You mean where _you_ don't get in trouble," she teased him. "But I guess we won't find out until we start looking, right?"

"Right. So, let's go inside and take off, then…"

"If you'd give me just one more second–" said a voice from behind them. They turned around to face Clow, who was looking at them with his usual smile. "There is one more thing I would like to tell you."

"What is it?" the Doctor asked, frowning. "It better not be another of your prophecies for trouble, because I'd rather not know."

"Well..." he hesitated, "I suppose that would depend on what kind of _trouble_you are talking about. It's nothing life-threatening, really. Just a little thing I wanted to say."

"Well?" the Doctor insisted. The wizard took the time to grin widely before he answered.

"Say hello to Jack from my part," he replied.

"Who's Jack?" asked Rose.

"Oh," said Clow, "you'll find out."

"But..."

"I'd really hate to ruin the surprise for you, honestly."

The Doctor looked as if he wanted to ask something else, but then Yuuko joined them to say a proper good-bye. She and Clow were traveling by their own means, whatever those were, so this was when they parted. She had that "fortune teller look" again, Rose noticed; but she didn't mention it.

"It was good to meet you, Rose Tyler," the witch said. "Have a good life."

Rose smiled brightly at her.

"I promise."


End file.
